“Mom, she’s touching me!” No wonder kids get so angry about this

Last night was ROUGH. My son - only being 3 months old is still not sleeping through the night. I am exhausted, overstimulated (I didn’t even know that was possible when you’re laying in bed) and what I call “touched out”. Everyone warns you when you become a mother about the exhaustion, sleepless nights, endless diaper changes and the piles and piles of laundry (SOOOOOO much laundry). One of the things nobody ever seemed to go over is how you lose your bodily autonomy for baby’s first few years. This might sound harsh and so cruel but I swear there are some days when I do not want to be touched, when the thought of someone touching me (yes, even one of my kids) makes me start hyperventilating. When you have a baby this is NOT an option. Babies naturally cling to their mothers presence and why not ? It’s all they have ever known and perfectly natural for them to want that proximity. Now some babies are more chill and are just fine left to their own devices for a little while to give mom a break however, my children seem to be stage 5 little clingers. Sure, the older two will go and play for a little while but inevitably they don’t take long to seek me out when they realize I’m no longer where they left me. My 4 year old will literally go play in another room and if I dare go to the bathroom and she comes back to the room I was in and I’m gone she will very frantically  start getting upset and saying things like “where’s mommy?!” Or “oh no MOMMY’S GONE” and sometimes this will escalate to her crying if I don’t let her know where I’m at. Honestly, it is kind of sweet that my kids are attached to me and I can’t help but smile when I see them running with their arms outstretched looking for a big hug. However, I am still human. Just the other night I was nursing my son on the couch and my second daughter climbs up on the arm of the couch and starts trying to sit in my lap and gets very frustrated when I tell her “no I can’t hold you right now, I’m feeding your brother. Mommy will hold you when brother is done eating.” She proceeds to get super mad and is using her body to try and shove her way onto my lap while crying. At the same time my oldest daughter picks this exact time to come running into the living room and climbs up on the couch and sits right up against my other side and tries to get me to put an arm around her - THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON. It had already been a long day and I was just so tired and this was just too much. I raised my voice and snapped “STOP TOUCHING ME!” Everybody stops and just looks at me and stares and it’s just all a bit much for me so I hand my youngest to my husband and walk out of the house onto my back porch. It felt so nice to be alone but I felt so terrible for snapping (my kids just wanted to be held) but I couldn’t take it at that moment. I needed my space. They tell you with babies that when you get overwhelmed that you need to lay them down in a safe place and WALK AWAY. I feel like that principle can apply to toddlers as well. I collected my thoughts and went back inside and both my girls come running to me like it had never happened.

Which brings me back to this morning- again I’m overstimulated, exhausted and touched out from being woken up every two hours and having to nurse my son. But by some miracle (seriously this is an act of God) my son has fallen asleep and my older two girls are snoozing away happily in their beds. So this morning I’m going to take my example from the other night and walk away from my son in his bassinet. I’m going to crank the baby moniter all the way up, pour myself a LARGE cup of coffee and take a bubble bath until one of my older children inevitably decide to hunt me down.

Sincerely,

  The “F” Bomb Mom