Breathe, just breathe

One of the things I really struggle with as a parent is getting overwhelmed. I’m not sure if it’s because I have three kids so things are bound to be crazy most of the time,or maybe I’m just not good with managing my emotions. One of my first reactions when I get overwhelmed is to raise my voice. It’s something I’m constantly trying to work on and let me tell you it is hard to  control that reaction when it’s something you’ve been doing your whole life. When I was teenager it was a lot worse (teenage female hormones are NOT fun) and would sometimes result with me throwing things if not outright fighting someone. The older I get and the more self aware I become it has gotten easier to manage my reactions to stress and honestly I’m really proud of that growth because when my children look back on their childhoods I don’t want them to remember me angry and yelling. It’s a conscious choice that I have to make each day and some days it is harder than others. Yesterday one of these moments happened when I was on my back porch. My children have this really neat grill play set on the back porch that comes with a bunch of different food type toys and I was trying to clean up the chaos they had created.

At the same time my husband and dad were trying to say something to me while my 1 year old was pulling at my shirt wanting to be picked up and my 4 year old also wanted my attention and was doing this thing where she will repeat what she’s saying over and over again until I respond and my 3 month old was also starting to get fussy in his little seat on the picnic table. The combination of the chaos and clutter along with the noise was just too much and when that happens I have a tendency to freeze up for a minute and this feeling of tension starts building up until I finally just put my hands up and step back and snap “STOP.”  There was just too much happening at once and I couldn’t concentrate. However, instead of getting angry I took a breath, answered my 4 year old while picking up my 1 year old and addressed what my dad and husband were saying to me. At a glance my reaction to that situation might not seem all that great but if you knew me as a teenager you would 100% realize that is massive personal growth on my part because my teenage self would have gotten overwhelmed and I would have started cussing and throwing things. Becoming a parent has calmed me down in so many respects but my reaction to stress is one of the things I’m most proud of and that growth I feel like has helped me with raising my children. Everytime I’m dealing with an outburst from my children, I try and step back for a second and calm myself down before I address the chaos because after all- if I’m as old as I am and still struggling with managing my emotions I can’t imagine how hard it is in that moment for my toddler having a meltdown to calm herself down. Let’s give ourselves and our children a little bit of grace while we navigate this crazy ride that we call life ❤️.

Sincerely,

   The “F” Bomb Mom